I am ….

~ I am a writer and, therefore, automatically a suspicious character. – Alfred Hitchcock


P.S. This is me this summer. Writing like there is a mission to solve.

Summer Reading

~ Some books you read. Some books read you. Some books swallow you up, heart and soul.



May 30, 2015. 10:47 pm. I don’t know why people exaggerate about things sooo simple. Like I don’t understand anymore. Also what I don’t understand is that why GIRLS (with the exception of me) act like the world is ending when someone else doesn’t agree with them or has a different perspective then they do. I really don’t care if someone doesn’t or does agree with me. All that matters is that they how I feel and that’s it, no need to over exaggerate a thing because one person is not agreeing. And if that person doesn’t agree with them then they make their ultimate mission to make you agree with them. I just let it go because I know where it will end if I keep pushing that person.

Three steps they make you do to agree with them:

1. They repeat how they feel about that topic like five times. They do this so you can have a second thought about but you feel like the topic has no importance so you disagree.

2. They make you feel like the bad guy; basically guilt tripping you. They do this by getting other people involved because once they know something the whole world has to know how they feel.

3. Lastly, If you still disagree they bark at you and stay mad at you for a whole week. They do this because they expect you apologize for sticking what’s right to you.

I’m saying all of this because of experience just do something really simply, agree. It’s not worth fighting with a woman because they always find a way to be right at something and making your life difficult. Am I the only girl in this world that finds the easier and simpler side to life? I just don’t understand the point to be arguing everyday and making people’s life miserable. Is that their way of getting in excitement because I’m scared that I will turn out to do that. Please let me not be like that.


P.S. I doubt all women are like this but this is just for the women that are surrounded in my life and there’s ton of them. Also written a long time ago.

Changing in Life

Life is changing. My life is changing. Today May 22, 2015, age –, my father tells me to take a paper to fill it out. When I look at the name on the paper it says “driving license registration”. I look at my dad and say “is this what I think what it is?” and he was like “I want you to get your learners permit and then I’m going to take you to driving school”. I look at him blankly like if he was kidding me or he was serious. He said “to not worry that I’m going to teach you how to drive and memorize the techniques that can be easier for you”. I was in my head screaming like oh snap, finally I’m being taken serious to take an adult action. Im soooo scared. I’m too scare to even touch the wheel of a car, let alone drive it. Is the one more step to become an adult or is it my dad just trying to use me, so I can take him to places? I don’t know but I what do know is that I want to feel the adrenaline rush while driving. The main reason (well two but this is the first) why I’m scared to drive is because I don’t want to die on the crazy road of New York. These people are animals and savages when they drive, it’s just scary. The other one is that I don’t want to kill anyone, I don’t want to have that conscious that I’m a criminal. I just thought all my life that driving was cool, until I grew up and realised the craziness that happens. Also thought all my life I will just take public transportation or be driven to the places I have to go. Life is changing. My life is changing and I don’t know what to do.


P.S. If you have noticed I wrote this a long time ago but yeah this is how I still feel like.


You know what I hate? When I say something to someone, someone else HAS to come in to the conversation to prove myself wrong when there isn’t any point of that. Like I cant say anything cause there is always someone else trying to tell me that what I THINK is wrong when I know that is right to me. Like what the heck? What happened to freedom of speech to express how you feel? Like the fudge, I’m tired of people arguing with me for stupid stuff that I say like if I say something to someone it isn’t for anyone to judge whatever the fudge I say. For example; If I say I don’t want to go to college, it isn’t for anyone to say stuff even to the person I’m talking to. They cant argue to me about stuff that I feel or think about; they aren’t the one choosing my lifestyle is me, myself, and I. I’m tired of people making me feel bad about myself for something I said, which is my point of view. Now I’m afraid of saying anything because people would just say stuff about it. Its not meant for a group argument about how I want my life, its my opinion and they should not have some smart comeback. I don’t care what you have to say just listen that’s all I ask. My opinions aren’t meant for arguments or comebacks about your opinions if I wanted your opinion, I would’ve asked but I didn’t. I’m not good with confrontations that’s why I give up easily cause I can give two crap anymore to fight back. I hate it but its the truth and I cant lie about it. I hate that people take advantage of that and I just want to punch them in the face. I don’t care about talking it out, I just want to break something already and scream. Especially when I’m mad, I cry, because its frustrating that it feels like everyone hates you and don’t understand you or wont care what you have to say. What matters to them is what they say, only what they say. They just want to make themselves feel better or smarter than you, they just want to be on top so you could feel like bottom. I want to be heard and I feel if I do have the chance it would be pointless. I don’t want people to judge me no more.


P.S. I wrote this a long time ago. I was venting myself because of somethings that were going on in my life. If you ever felt this, then feel free to comment about you feel. I’m not here to judge. Also I tried to keep it PG when I was revising; I tend to use bad language when I’m mad or frustrated.